Sunday, September 18, 2011

Movie Rating Rubric


1 through 5 (5 being the best). Occasionally I'll have a decimal to the tenths place.

1. Congratulations! You made a movie. You rounded up actors and either shot it yourself, or hired a camera crew. Either way, I watched it.

2. This movie was scarcely watchable. If I hadn't spent all that money on a ticket, I'd surely put an end to this viewing. The movie does not know which way it wants to go. Is it a shameless comedy? No. Is it a tear-drawing drama? Not really. The story has not been thought out. The overall viewing experience has been overlooked.

3. You worked really hard, and made an appealing movie by excellent visuals, or great acting, but the story is weak or full of holes. Maybe the story is a cliche that leaves me saying, "I can't believe they made that comparison." Overall, the movie is awkward.

4. With the exception of Iron Man (the first one) most comic book movies go here.

5. This movie was incredible. The visuals were appropriate. The casting and acting were impeccable. Maybe there was a twist, maybe there wasn't, but I said "Ah ha!" at the end, or "Ohmygosh, I didn't see that coming." The events of the story led us to the conclusion. 

Monday, September 12, 2011

It's Been Ten Years. How Could We Have Built Differently?

It's great that we have a nice memorial at ground zero. But wouldn't it have been better to rebuild the twin towers bigger and better than before? Now we have a perpetual site of mourning where we could have had two giant middle fingers for all the world's terrorists to see.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Contagion 2011. Too Many Big Names For a Movie To Suck As Hard As It Did

Marion Cotillard, Matt Damon, Laurence Fishburne, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Kate Winslet: a list of actors who are hated by their agents.


The movie contained three separate strains of the same story. We followed three story lines scene-by-scene as experts, a few lay people, and a journalist deal with the effects of a fast-acting virus. The stage was set for a heart-pounding thriller.


Looks like that compelling plot is just out of reach, isn't it, Matt? Generally speaking, if we are forced to follow three divergent plot lines at some point they converge, and we say, "Ah-Hah!" as the we find the movie's conclusion at the bottom of a twisty turny waterslide. Instead, bad stuff happens, and the film stops.


The film's potential was wasted.


There was no villain. There was no climax, which means no resolution. Not even a lousy chase scene.


My score: 2 out of 5


Contagion movie review 2011